So now I am left with all these thoughts in my head, swirling around. I can't push them to the side, nor stop the speed at which they spin. In only a few short weeks, my mind and my heart have taken on their own agenda and I seem to merely be following along. I never quite know when my emotions will take over, or if I will come to my senses before the crash.
Truly, I feel I am just along for the ride. I know that this ride will, without a doubt, end in a fiery, burning crash that will break my heart.
I am okay with that. I am not looking forward to it. But each step along this short journey has been eye-opening, and I have found that a bit of soul searching has been in order. I am torn between jumping ship before the crash or going along for the ride because of its headiness and, in moments, sheer delight.
That smile that lights up his entire face takes my breath away. Eyes sparkle, and I am like a twelve-year-old girl who no longer has the ability to think, speak, or potentially breathe for herself. In short, I am a bumbling idiot.
The conversations that started out light and flirtatious are now littered with hints of emotions, and a different sort of energy. My spirit is renewed.
I have come to a point in my life where I question a bit less. When I wonder a lot more. When I treasure the smallest moments. It is liberating. So, I try and revel in the speed at which my thoughts spin. I take more time to breathe in and out between those thoughts. I appreciate being reminded what it's like to feel twelve again, and what it's like to just go along for the ride.
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